Our Life As We Know It

It's December already?!

2010-12-15T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not even going to try and fill everyone in on what has been going on in that last 5 months, lol. I'll try and do a short recap though.

Everything is great!! Allie is amazing and Aiden is as awesome as ever!

Aiden is ahead of the class in Kindergarten, and his teacher is absolutely amazing! I really really like her and couldn't speak more highly of her. She told us that she's going to sit with Aiden while the other students work, and go over more advanced things with him. A lot of teacher's wouldn't take the time to do that, and it just makes me happy to hear how much she cares about her students!

He's doing great with Allie - even though she's at that stage where everything is HERS and if he tries to tell her otherwise, he gets a slap, pinch, or bite from Ms. Attitude. We're working on it though, and I couldn't ask him to tolerate it better than he does. He's being very patient with her like I talked to him about, which is awesome!

Allie is getting bigger and bigger and I love it!! I love chasing her around and playing with her! She's such a delight! She's finally putting herself to sleep now! She just needs her little seahorse and a cup of warm water to cuddle with. Yes, she cuddles with her cup, lmao. Crazy kid!
She's saying new things all of the time, but it takes me a few times to realize what she's saying. It's so cute!
She understands everything though! I can ask/tell her anything, and she'll do it. My favorite is when she'll take her empty bowl to the kitchen and put it in the sink w/out me asking her. Or watching her run the DVD player. It's just absolutely hilarious to watch a little person doing those thing! She loves matching her shoes up and won't put on a pair unless she has the match to it. She's a shoe princess and she loves getting new clothes! This is very bad for me, LOL.

But, even with her princess side, comes some crazy wildness! This girl is a monkey! She's climbs on EVERYTHING! Up chairs, on tables, the entertainment center, the DVD cabinet (it's built into the wall, so no worries:) ), drawers in the kitchen, etc. The best is when she's trying to get into the utensil drawer. She'll pull it open part way, let it catch on the fridge door handle, and then pull herself up with her arms, while putting one foot on the cabinet below and the other on the fridge. I walked into her doing that one day and about died, lol.

So yes, things are fabulous, funny, and happy here at home! :)

On the flip-side, I would like to ask those of you out there to say a quick prayer for my baby cousin. He was just diagnosed with Leukemia a few weeks ago. He's not even 2 yet. He's go A LOT of people pulling and praying for him, but more prayers will never hurt!

Allie at 15 months

and of course, it is still difficult as ever to get Aiden to let me take his picture. He's kind of coming around though, so keeping fingers crossed that I can start adding lots and lots of pictures of his crazy little self! :)

Not slow enough!!

2010-07-26T20:30:00.001-07:00

So much for my hoping of a slow month! Allie's 1stbirthday is Wednesday and Cameron's 2nd birthday/angelversary is a week from tomorrow. I just can't believe it!!

It's hard planning for both days and only having one of them here. But, it's something I need to get used to.

The party planning is going great so far! My big fret was the birthday cake. In all of my organic/natural -loving glory, I just couldn't bring myself to buy her a cake from the store. Or even make one for her for that matter. I know, I know, it's her birthday and one time isn't going to hurt her, but when you know what's in those things, and you know specifically what they do and how they shouldn't be in our diets (thanks to my older bro, who's about as big of a health nut as I am, for letting me in on that stuff. I'm being somewhat sarcastic here, lol. Life was just a little bit easier when I didn't know those things!), it's HARD, LOL!!! The hubby was making fun of me, but I was bound and determined to find a way to do this.

How how easy it was!!! I never thought that our regular grocery store would have natural cake and frosting mix. Holla! (that's a signature Hollie thing...don't ask, lol)

I was a little leery about it, but O.M.G. is it tasty!! However, I'm just not so sure I'm crafty enough to make cakes, with fondant, to feed 50+ people!! Sooo, a friend of mine came to the rescue! She's opening her own bakery and offered to do both cakes (which will look like two big flip-flops...we're doing a baby luau) and Allie's smash cake for $60!!! So excited!!

I've got most of the decorations bought, just have to order a few more things from my most favorite place - Oriental Trading!! I found so much stuff for super low prices!!

Now I just have to figure out what Hawaiian type foods we're going to do!

As for Cameron's little get together, we're doing the traditional balloon release with friends and family, and Aiden and Allie will make cupcakes! I love that they get to do something themselves! My mother in law said she's going to get a blueberry bush for us to plant in his garden (that still needs to be done). I've wanted some type of fruitful/flowering plant or tree since we lost him. I thought it would be a special way to sort of "take care of him"...

Such a busy busy time of the month! I hope everything goes super smooth!

This month better go by slowwww

2010-07-04T20:35:00.001-07:00

First off, here are a couple pics of my big girl! Aiden took this first on of her as we were leaving my parent's house.

I took some photos of Ellie last week, and was able to snap this one real quick of the two of them. Allie kept trying to poke Ellie in the butt cheek, lol (you can see her getting her finger ready in the pic). I just think it's kind of special to have a picture of our two girls - our rainbow babies - together!

My little girl is 11 months old now! I cannot believe I'm going to be throwing her a birthday party in less than a month! This last year has flown by!

She's growing like a weed and is doing something new every day!

She got two new teeth on the top, and it looks as if another will be coming in next to them shortly. If that one does come in, she'll have 5 teeth total! She's getting better and better at walking, but still prefers to crawl most of the time.

This girl is in to EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING! But, it keeps her content and happy, so who am I to discourage her? lol. It's bad! Sometimes when I'm cooking dinner, I will let her sit there with the fridge door open, playing in there, pulling stuff out, putting stuff back, etc. just so I can get stuff done, lol.

She's such a mommy's girl and I love it - well, 95% of the time anyway. Most of the time, she's happy playing, but it's like the minute she sees me, a switch goes off in her head saying, "Start crying. Crawl to mom. Make her pick me up." And I always give in.

The funniest thing she does is when she gets caught getting into something she knows she's not supposed to be in to. I'll walk in and say, "Allie! What are you doing little missy?". And she'll get all wide-eyes, hold up whatever it is that she has, and make this cute little noise - almost like she's saying, "Here mommy, you play too!". I can't help but smile every time!

Her and Aiden are little hellians around here! They both know just what to do to push the other one's buttons. Obviously, Allie isn't doing it on purpose, but I think she just likes the reaction she gets. Aiden just does it to hear her scream. I just about go nuts on a weekly basis, lol.

We bought her, her new big girl carseat a few weeks ago!! I'm so glad we did! She looks so much more comfortable in it, and doesn't cry nearly as much as she did in her infant seat. We got the Graco Myride65. The pink and brown one. We're doing extended rear facing. I didn't know anything about it before really, and kind of blew it off when I read about other women doing it. Then I read a pretty lengthy (and somewhat heated) discussion about it on my BBC, and it completely changed my mind about the whole idea!

We took her and Aiden to the Toledo zoo yesterday! They both loved it!! Allie went nuts over the aquarium! She was trying to grab the fish through the tank walls. It was so cute to watch her! We all had a great time!

9 month appointment

2010-05-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Allie had her 9 month appointment and it went great!!! We met with an awesome D.O. and had the best appointment we've had in a long time! She was very respectful of our decisions and was absolutely wonderful with Allie! I had heard that D.O. we're more open to a natural approach to things, so I went ahead and made her appointment with one. I'm so glad we did! Now I don't have to worry about switching peds! :)

Allie is doing wonderful!! She's 19lbs 11oz and 27.5" long. She's right where she should be with everything! The Dr. was surprised that does the pincer grasp and drinks throught a straw. Aiden drank through a straw early as well. I just introduce it early. As for her pincer grasp, she's been doing that since about 5 or 6 months. I think that's why she was a little later than Aiden with crawling - because she was focusing on smaller things like that. I asked about her foot turning outwards and she said that, at this point, it's hard to tell if it's just a balance thing or if it's an actual gate issue. She just said to keep an eye on it, and if it gets worse, we'll look into more. I guess once they start walking, it's easier to tell what the actual issue is.

She has also mastered the stairs, as I found out yesterday. UGH! Before she could only barely get up the first one. Last night, I followed her all the way to the top.

I just love her personality! While she can seem rather bossy at times, she so very funny and sweet! We've got a 13month old here that I've been watching since yesterday, and Allie rules over her. Not in a mean way, but you can tell she thinks she's gotta be in control of everything. I'm gonna have fun with her once she gets older. Note the sarcasm, lol.

9 months!!

2010-05-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'll get some pictures up as soon as I get them loaded onto my computer. The other day was the first time I had picked my camera up in weeks! I just needed a break! Things were going way too fast for me, and I didn't feel I was ready for where it was taking me. People were asking me left and right to do family pictures, baby pictures, birthday pictures - and while I love that they love my photos, *I'M* not where I want to be yet, and I don't want to give anything to anyone that I'm not happy with myself.
So, I'm starting over. I'm learning my camera from top to bottom - not just the inbetween stuff. And then, hopefully, by the end of the year, I will be where I want to be and will be on my way to getting an upgrade! :)

Ok, enough about that - on to Miss Allie!

She's doing wonderful and learning something new every day! She understands more words now. If I say something or ask her where something is she will get it/go towards it/look at it/etc. She's been pulling up for awhile now, but she is now letting go for about 5-10 seconds. She falls, but her balance is getting better and better, and I can just tell she's itching to walk! I have a feeling it'll be late May - mid June before she starts walking. She's getting the hang of waiving hi and bye and it's oh-so-adorable!! She figures things out very quick as well - like how to put tops back on things, how to stack 2 or 3 blocks (and how to knock them down of course, lol!!), how to open and close stuff...you know, that sort of stuff.
She's babbling like crazy, but hasn't said any actual words, aside from your typical "mama", "dada", "baba" stuff. Sometimes I think I hear her say, "Hi" and "yeah", but who knows!

Aiden's getting excited because she actually plays with him now. She loves to copy him and he thinks it's just the funniest thing in the world! She, on the other hand, just loves to crawl all over him and bang stuff on his head! Oh, how I love these two!

We're planning a trip to the Toledo zoo in June and I cannot wait!! Aiden's never been, so he'll love it! I used to go all the time when I was little and we were visiting my grandparents. I remember the gorillas the most! I especially remember one, whom I believed was named Max, who used to escape all of the time, lol. Allie is going to go crazy! This girl loves her animals! She squeels and claps whenever any animal is around. Heck, she even gets excited over the sight of stuffed animals. I really want to take her to Binder Park Zoo as well. ONLY because they have an awesome giraffe exhibit, where you get on this platform and the giraffes walk right up to you and you can feed them! I can only imagine how excited she would be! Other than that, I don't care much for that zoo. It's a semi-rip off for what they offer. But, the kids always have a good time, so I won't complain! :)

I just really wish Summer would kick in to gear and bring us some nice, warm, weather that actually sticks around! Oh, and the fact that little Ellie will be here in just about 4wks!!! :) :) :)

I can't do it!

2010-04-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

CIO attempt = epic fail.

Never in my life will I do that again, lol.

Allie has been having issues at night, and needless to say, I AM TIRED!!! I tried CIO last night, but only lasted a mere 8-10min. Poor thing was so exhausted from crying. I walked in there and she was standing up, half slumped over the railing, with her head lying on the side. She probably would have fallen asleep like that if I had left her!! I scooped her up and wrapped her in a blanket and just cuddled and rocked her. She was out within 20 seconds.

I felt awful! While she was falling asleep in my arms, she was still wimpering! I just kept giving her kisses and rocking her.

I know she was fine and all - she had been fed and changed. She just wanted her mama. And when I think about it, there is nothing wrong with that. She's a baby. She will eventually go to sleep on her own and sleep through the night. While I may be tired, I do like rocking her and watching her drift off to sleep in my arms. I'm going to miss it when she's done with all of that, so I guess I just have to suck it up, go to bed earlier and try to enjoy the one-on-one time I have with her.

Full Speed Ahead! And a bit of a rant...

2010-04-21T06:43:00.001-07:00

Our little Allie is crawling like a champ now! She officially started on April 5! She's everywhere and loves it! I, on the other hand, somewhat miss her completely immobile stage. Then again, it's so much fun to see them learn new things! What else?? She's waving hi and bye, she claps and "dances" when she's excited, she's pulling up on everything and cruising along the furniture when she gets the chance.

We just started cloth diapering, and so far I love it! They are adorable and oh-so-soft!! It's a slow process, so we still have sposies around, but I'm hoping to be 100% cloth by Summer time!

She's eating lots more now! She can drink from a sippy, a straw, and a regular cup. I prefer the sippy and straw to the regular cup for clean factor. lol

She still only has two teeth, but she manages food great! I still keep things pretty soft for her though!

She still isn't sleeping through the night!!! It's bad! She's goes to bed around 9:00, wakes up around 2-3am to eat, goes back to sleep, and then wakes up at 5am. I nurse her and she's out within minutes, but the second I lay her in her crib, she's awake and crying. This has led to me being exhausted, which in turn, has led to her sleeping in our bed for the past two nights. I am stopping this now! While I don't necessarily have an issue with co-sleeping at this age, I do believe that mom and dad's bed is for mom and dad. I know people that co slept and ended up having their kids in bed with them until they were 5-6yrs old. Not something I'm interested in, thanks.

She was sleeping through the night up until around 5 months old. Not sure what happened, but I really wish she would revert back to her old ways!!

I've decided I'm going to start her on rice milk when the time comes. I've been drinking it since she was 2wks old, and I cannot go back to regular cow's milk. Aiden drinks it too and likes it, so I see no reason to have two different milks in the house. It's easier on her system and a lot easier to digest for little ones (us as well!). I've felt much better since making the switch too. Not to mention all of the hormones and crap that cows are fed nowadays. I was also reading there are traces of blood and pus in cow's milk. Do I know that to be 100% true? No. But I guess it makes sense - it is breastmilk after all!

RANT ON:

People think it's such a bad thing to not have babies on cow's milk. Really? I'm just not so sure nature intended for humans to be drinking baby cow's milk. We make breastmilk for human babies, cow's make breastmilk for calves. Their milk is made to sustain a baby CALF - to nurture it into a 300lb+ animal within 24months. Makes you go hmmmm! At least I do, lol.

This is just the way I view things. Am I going to scoff at you because you give your kid cow's milk, feed them frozen, boxed, bagged foods, take them to mcdonalds, or vaccinate them? Absolutely not. Your kid, your choice. I respect that. I just ask that people do the same for me.

What DOES annoy me is when I get laughs and eye rolls. To me, that signals that you are insecure with your parenting choices and abilities. Don't out yourself like that. You'll only look like a fool to me, which in turn gives me the right to laugh at you. I won't though - at least not to your face.

I will absolutely not apologize for going against the grain and making sure my kids are healthy and as natural as possible - the way nature intended them to be. So what if I don't do what everyone else is doing! That's not me. I have my opinions and beliefs and I stick with them. If you think differently of me for this, maybe it's time you reevaluate yourself. If you're truly comfortable with the decisions you make as a parent, you won't have an issue with mine.

Random? Maybe. But I've noticed that I've had a few people stop talking to me ever since I have made my parenting decisions a little more known. Online and in real life. Does it bother me? Maybe a little, but nothing I'm losing sleep over. I am 110% confident in the choices I have made as a mother, and I'm damn proud of that. I'm an organic loving, natural practicing, crunchy little mama and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

RANT OFF

Sorry, got sidetracked there, but it was stuff that was bothering me. And before anyone says anything about how Allie won't get the fat and nutrients that she "needs" from cow's milk - please understand that there are better, healthier ways to get those things. She loves avocodos for instance - those are full of healthy fats! We cook with olive oil, which again, is a healthy fat. Rice milk is enriched with Vit. D and calcium, and even has a bit more of other things than regular milk does. And did you know that 1 measly cup of broccoli juice contains a helluva lot more calcium than milk? Yep, it does. So chillax people, I got this.

Anywho...

Aiden has started tball and loves it!! He's a natural just like his daddy! Chev was really hoping he would love the sport, and it's looking like that's going to be the case. Chev has a lot to teach him, and I can't wait to see them together as he gets older. Chev could have went far with baseball, but had to stop at college because of his hips. He was the best catcher in the this area, but the years of it wore on him bad. I think there is a big part of Chev that would love to see Aiden go far, but he also understands that it might not happen. We're cool with that!

Gotta go! I've got MOUNDS of laundry to fold! More later.

She's crawling! ....well, sort of! :)

2010-03-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

It seems like Allie has done so much within the last week! Not sure where all of it is coming from all of a sudden, but I'm loving it! It's just amazing to watch her learn and do new stuff every day!

She tried her first meat yesterday! Chicken! She loved it! I cubed up some chicken breast, along with an apple and a sweet potato. I threw them in a pot of water and boiled them, and then pureed them together! It was definitely different at first, but after the first couple of bites, she couldn't get enough! I didnt plan on starting meats yet, but I felt like her "menu" was getting bit repetitive. She's still breastfeeding around 5-7 times a day. Normally about 6 though. She gets solids in the morning and at dinner time, and once in awhile, she'll be hungry enoug for solids at lunch, but not all of the time. I really do love breastfeeding, but there is a part of me that is completely anxious to get my life back! It's going to be so weird not having to worry about it all when I want to go out or plan around it when we want to go somewhere.

She has mastered her pincer grasp! It's SOOO cute! I had some cheerios on the table and instead of grabbing at them opened fist, she used her thumb and first finger, and ever so carefully grabbed them. She was concentrating so hard, lol!

She is "talking" more now. She says "baba", "mama", "dada", and some other things that i don't understand, lol. Sound like "vra vra" and "bllllaaahhhh". LOL. She has also started letting us know when we piss her off...ha! If she has something, and we take it from her, she gets this disgruntled look on her face, and will then proceed to scream at us. Basically, she's developing a nice little attitude :P

As far as her mobility goes, this girl gets around! Half of the time, I have no idea how she does it. I'll put her on the blanket in the living room, go to another room to do something, and when I come back, she's half way across the room, lol. She's on her belly when I find her, so I imagine she is pulling/scooting/rolling around.

She got up on her knees today!! She stayed there, rocking for a good 30sec. and then.....she crawled backwards. Backwards!!!! HAHA!! It was so funny! She was trying to shard to get to me, but couldn't figure out why she was going the wrong way. So, after about 2min. she gave up, and fell to her tummy. She's getting there though!

She's also aquired the skill of putting things in and taking things out of a container. She has been pulling them out of things or awhile now, but about a week ago was when she started putting them back in. She'll drop one of her monkeys in the monkey barrel, and then look in the barrel to see what she has done. She gets all sorts of excited over it! She's so proud of herself!

She's clapping!! Well, it's sort of! She's just gotta get the hang of opening her hands completely. I've been showing her how to do it for the past month now, so when she finally started doing it a few days ago, I was so proud! So funny how the littlest things make you so happy when you're a parent!

She hasn't been weighed since her 6(7)month appointment, but I'm guessing she's probably close to 19lbs now! I'll weigh her tomorrow and see what we get! She's in 9 or 9-12month clothing now. There are a few things that are 12m that fit her! Just depends where they're from! I pulled down a tub full of clothes that we had gotten before I had her. They were all bigger sizes, so I put them away. I completely forgot how much stuff we had in there that would fit her now! It was like she got a whole new wardrobe in 10 seconds! As a woman, I can tell you that something like that is absolutely awesome! :)

I still cannot believe that 4 months, we're going to be celebrating her 1st birthday! It's insane!! I can't wait to go pick out her birthday dress and to get everything together!

Yay for Spring, healthy babies and teeth!

2010-03-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

I can't believe Spring is almost here!! I am so excited! Well, aside from the nasty wetness that ensues here in Michigan, I am. We almost hit 70 today which is nothing short of amazing!! This Winter wasn't bad at all. As a matter of fact, I hardly remember it! It went by so fast, and we really didn't have that much snow. Last year was awful! So much snow and sooooo cold out! I remember going out to start my car one morning, when it was -20 out, and my car was frozen INSIDE!

Anyhow, I'm just glad we have warm weather to look forward to! Plus, it means lots of photography for me!

Aiden and Allie are doing wonderful! Aiden came down with a little bug the other day, but he's recovery very nicely. Nothing a mother's touch, popsicles, and a lot of Vitamin C couldn't take care of! Allie has managed to dodge all of it which is awesome! I'm so thankful for healthy kiddos!

She isn't crawling yet, but she's getting around in her own little way. She semi-army crawls, or will turn in circle on her belly to get something she wants. It's so cute! If I put her up on her hands and knees she rocks back and forth, but doesn't quite get that she can go if she really wanted to. She got her first tooth about 2 weeks ago! I can't believe how big she's getting! We'll be celebrating her first birthday in 4.5 months!! It's so crazy to me! I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital a couple of weeks ago!

Just thought I'd throw in a quick update! I have to go get Aiden from school and figure out what in the world I'm making for dinner. We're really striving, as a family, to eat all whole, organic foods! We're contemplating doing a garden this year, but we'll see! It just feels good to get away from all of the crap that's out there and know that I'm putting the best food that I can into our bodies!

Here are a few pictures I took about a week ago! The first decent one of Aiden and Allie since she was born! And the other two are of my mom and Allie.

Ok, Ok...

2010-02-18T19:11:00.000-08:00

First off, we finally had Allie's 6 month appointment today! Everything is great! She now weighs 17lbs, 6oz and is 26.5"! I was getting concerned that she wasn't trying to crawl, but quickly realized today that she is 100% where she should be! I guess just reading and seeing all of these babies, who are the same age, and crawling, had me a little worried. I hate even saying worried, because I know all babies do things on their own time. I guess I wasn't really worried....just curious is all! :)

She can actually hold herself on her hands and knees for about 5-6 seconds now! I have to put her that way, but still. I did it today, and she started rocking a little bit! I was just curious to see what she would do! I'll let her figure it out on her own, because while I can't wait for the crawling, walking, talking, etc. I want to enjoy her being my baby! She's my last!! :(

I let her play in some Avocado yesterday evening, and boy was that a treat!! She got it ALL over, and I was laughing so hard! I don't know why in the world I didn't get pictures, but I definitely will next time. At least I know she loves them those! She had it all over herself, and would stop what she was doing, ever so often, and lick her fingers.

Aiden has figured out how to carry her around now. I still watch him very close, but he's so excited that he can do it! He is such a good big brother!!

Ok. SOOOO....about Heather...

Steph, you cannot say anything!!!! LOL

Buuuuuut, your instincts are ...

RIGHT! ;)

It's A...

2010-02-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I'll be safe spilling the beans here. Heather doesn't even know of this blog, and it would be a miracle if she just happened to stumble upon it. Seriously, it won't happen! ....right? lol

I've almost slipped up to her a few times. She'll say something about the baby moving, and I'll instinctivley say, "Oooh, is ......ahh, the baby kicking?". It gets harder and harder the longer I know! I won't say a word to her - at least on purpose! And I try my hardest to watch myself around her. It's the hardest when we're out shopping and she wants to buy something. All I can tell her is, "Yeah, get it! It's adorable!" If she's wrong, she'll just have to take it back, lol.

So...

Crap! You know what?! I just realized that one person who is friends with both of us is on here. *cough* Steph *cough* ;)

Damn. I've been dying to tell someone, and this was going to make me feel so much better.

Either way, boy or girl, our babies are always going to know how special they are. Both Allie and little Ellie or Cole will know that they are here because their mommies were brave enough to try again. I hope they will grow up to be good friends. I couldn't imagine sharing a bond like that with someone! :) 4 more months!!!!

Oh boy!!

2010-01-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

There has been a bit of change around here, and hopefully it's for the best! I decided to put off nursing for awhile, and focus on other things. I'll finish one day, but at the moment, it's just not in my cards. I see how overwhelmed my brother is, and how much he has to study to remain at the top of his class. I can't do that with a baby whom I'm still nursing. I don't want any added stress when I'm in the program, so I've chosen to wait until Allie is a bit older and a little more self-sufficient!

In the meant time, I'm learning more and more about photography, and I LOVE it! Always have, always will! I've added a few new pieces of glass to my collection, and will shortly be getting my long-awaited Tamron! I did my first wedding (which was totally last minute and a big surprise!) a week ago! I was notified 5 days before the wedding! On top of that, I had a speedlite which I had 2 days to learn! Talk about stressful! I have a wedding I'm doing this July, so I thought I had plenty of time before my first one! Then I get hit with this! BUT, I'm very much a person who dives right in, head first - so I did. And it went great!! I had a few lighting issues, but other than that, everything turned out fine! Given the low budget of the wedding, the time I had to prepare, and how not on time everyone was that day, I think I did a great job, and I know the bride will be happy with her photos! I let my mom peek and she said I did a very good job for it being my 1st ever! And my mom is the type of person to tell it like it is, so I was happy over that!

I may be doing another one in Detroit this April, but it's not certain. I'm still contemplating! I also did a friend of mine's kiddos! 6 of them!! THAT was a treat, lemme tell ya! I'm used to 1 or 2, so posing and getting all of them to look at me that the same time was a huge challenge! I didn't get as many good shots as I would have liked, but she was happy with what we were able to come out with. It also didn't help that the lighting in her house was NOT in my favor, and the space I had to work in wasn't all that fantastic either! I told her I want to do some outdoor ones come Spring time.

I'm doing Heather's maternity photos next Saturday, and I can't wait! After that, I'm doing two more family sessions for friends, and an engagement session this Fall!

I love it all, and it's great extra money for us!

Allie hasn't had her 6mo appointment yet, but she goes on the 10th! I'm guessing she's somewhere around 16.5lbs and maybe 26-27"! We're still vaccine free, and plan to keep it that way. And guess what? She's not dead! lol. As a matter of fact, she's never been sick at all! At our last appointment, I told the pediatrician, "Look, here's my box. And in my box are my two main points. Which are..."

1* Every Dr. will recommend that we take vitamins, right? Why? Because they're good for us. BUT, every Dr. will not recommend that I vaccinate my child. Why is that? When it comes to me injecting that sort of stuff into my daughter's blood stream, I want the medical community to all agree on it. I think that's important.

2* I wouldn't feed my daughter the stuff that is in vaccines, so why in the world would I inject it into her bloodstream? Our bodies are made to metabolize what we ingest, NOT formaldehyde, thimerosal(which is 50% mercury. That doesn't make me feel better), human diploid cells (aborted fetal cells), cells from different animals, etc. that is injected into our bodies.

All she said was, "Ok." and nodded her head. I consider that somewhat of a breakthrough, as we've always had some sort of head-butting when it comes to us not vaccinating.

She's healthy, we're healthy, we practice good hygiene, use common sense, eat whole foods, take our vits, etc. While we may come off SLIGHTLY hippy-ish to some, it doesn't bother me. In fact, I quite like our way of life! :)

Allie has now tried sweet potatoes, 2 kinds of squash, sweet peas, carrots, pears, bananas, apples, applesauce, and mangos. She loves it all, but the bananas seem to back her up pretty good, so we skip those quite a bit! We're still making our own babyfood, and I still like it just as much as I did the first day I started! It's so much fun, and I love knowing that she's getting the absolute BEST nutrition!!

We've added another critter to the house! We bought Aiden a little hamster, who he named Coco! She's an adorable cream colored teddy beat hamster. She bit Allie AND I today though :(. I felt awful! I was letting Allie check her out in her little strawberry house, and she was getting so excited! It was so cute! She then grabbed at the strawberry, and before I could pull her hand away, the little shit got her! She cried for a quick second, and her finger bled for quite awhile. It wasn't a huge wound AT ALL, but she got her right on the tip of her finger, so all of that blood was expected. It was the first time my little girl has ever bled :(

She still isn't trying to crawl, and she's not yet a master at sitting up. I carry her around ALL of the time, and I need to stop, so that she can practice these things! However, the funny thing is, is that she stands quite well! So, she may skip all of that junk altogether, and go straight to walking. We shall see! Either way, I am not worried at all! She's happy, healthy, and smart. She just does things on her own time! :)

Here is her 6mo picture! I snapped this up in Aiden's bedroom when we were all up there playing one day!
And here are some of her in her new gear I just bought at the new baby boutique in town!

Now if you're wondering why I never have any photos of Aiden, it's because he's a typical 5yr old boy! He hates it, and after about 3min. he's done, lol. My goal is to get some photos of them by time Spring rolls around! We'll see!

OH!!!! And Heather finds out what she's having on Monday!! Myself and her husband are the only two people that will be finding out the sex. She doesn't want to know. She's having a scheduled c/s, so she really wants it to be a surprise! I'm so excited!!! :)

Looking forward to a great year!

2010-01-05T21:16:00.001-08:00

Happy 2010 everyone!! Let's hope this will be a good year! I have a feeling it will be!

For starters, my awesome friend Heather, who lost her son at 37wks, just 2 months before we lost Cameron, is pregnant! She's due mid-June, and I couldn't be happier for her!! Our initial plan was to get pregnant together, but she had some troubles early on. Pay no mind to that now, because it doesn't matter anymore! She's gonna have a baby!! I'm so excited!

And of course, our little Allie will be 1 this Summer, and my little man will be 6!! I cannot belive for a single second that Aiden is going to be six years old this year! Where in the world has the time gone?! Before I know it, I'm going to be old, and they're going to be in high school! Ok, well I won't be THAT old, but I'll be pushin' 40, and that's old enough for me, lol!

Aiden is doing outstanding in school! He's made honor roll, student of the week, and got the respect award from his prinicipal! Now, my only question is why can't he be that good at home, lol ;). Nah, he's a good kid, but he's got your typical 5yr old attitude at times. Drives me crazy, but I wouldn't have him any other way!

Allie is sitting up now, but has no real interest in rolling over anymore. She still does it from time to time, but she would much rather but sitting all the way up. She's 16lbs now! I haven't been able to measure her, but will do so shortly. I would imagine she's gotta be somewhere between 25 and 26"! She's in 6 or 6-9mo clothing! We had so much 3-6, that I thought she would be in for awhile, but that wasn't the case! Ah well, just another reason to shop! :)
She's also getting her first tooth! It wasn't a fun weekend, but I think the worst is over! I just hope that they all aren't like that. I felt so bad for her! But, we're back on track now, and I'd imagine that tooth should be all the way through very shortly!

As for me? Doing good! Just surprised I'm not bald yet! My hair is still falling out, and it's the thinnest it's EVER been. I used to have such nice, super thick hair, and now I have to keep it short just so it doesn't look to stringy. I'm really hoping it'll come back once I'm done breastfeeding!
I'm starting classes again next week, and will be testing into the nursing program. I won't be entering this May, but will use my score to get in next year. I see how stressful it is on my brother, and he's single with no kids. I can't imagine having to be gone as much as him, especially with me still breastfeeding! It'll just be better for everyone if I wait one more year!

Slacking

2009-12-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

Man, I'm really behind this year!! We JUST put our tree up about 3 days ago, and I have yet to buy a single gift, LOL. I'm the biggest procrastinator I know! I just haven't had the time to get away and do any shopping. This is how it is every year though, and I'll be out just a few days before Christmas, doing all of my shopping! You think I'd learn!

I also wanted to do Christmas cards this year, with the kids on there, but never was able to get around to taking any pictures of the two of them. For one, it's hard to get them together, how I want them, when Allie still needs a bit of help sitting up. By time I get back to my camera, she's about falling over! And Aiden is a typical 5yr old boy - he doesn't want any "cheesy" pictures taken of him. Sheesh!

I was able to get a few pics of Allie though. Here she is at 4.5mo

She is now on some solids, and it's working great for us! She's a big eater and I just couldn't keep up with her! I would be stuck in the house every day, on the couch, feeding her! She did great with the cereal and breastmilk! We then introduced sweet potatoes, which she loves, and the newest that we have started is bananas. She gets them for breakfast. I just mash up 1/4 banana and mix in some of her oatmeal, and we're good to go! We're making our own baby food this time around! It's easy, fun, and so much cheaper!!

She's getting better at sitting up, but obviously still needs some help! She's also found her voice! She started babbling a long time ago, but she has now learned the art of screaming, and practices perfecting it all day long. It's hilarious!! She absolutely loves Ai8den too! She just lights up at whatever it is that he's doing. He's just as smitten with her as well!

Last year

2009-11-27T19:56:00.001-08:00

Last year at this time I knew I was pregnant, but I hadn't taken a test yet. Tomorrow will be 1yr since I found out we would be expecting Allie. It's also my Mother's birthday!

I remember taking a picture of it and sending it to her via text. I simply said, "Happy Birthday!". She was over the moon, and of course she cried!

And now here we are with our little girl who will also be turning 4 months old tomorrow!

It's so crazy to think how far we've come in a years time. There were plenty of tears shed and still a lot of heartache. The tears still come now, and the heartache is still there, but there is now a happiness that wasn't there before.

I watch my kids and I smile. Then I think of Cameron, and I smile again. I so wish he could be here with them, but I know in my heart that he's here with us everyday. Watching over all of us, making sure Aiden and Allie stay safe.

I had Allie in the office today, and on the bookshelf is Cameron's candle - the one we light every year on October 15th. Well tonight her and I were sitting in there, and hers eyes became fixated on that candle. Then, out of nowhere, she just started smiling, laughing, screaming and cooing! She's been cooing and laughing for a while now, but I have never seen her get so excited! I just smiled and told her that was big brother's candle, and she continued on with the laughing and screaming... :)

What happened to Fall?!

2009-10-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Allie is going on 3 months old!! It's crazy, but I love it!

She's just growing up so fast! She can pretty much roll over on her own now. Sometimes, she still needs a bit of help from getting stuck on her side, lol. She's cooing, laughing and babbling so much now, and her newest trick is the ever-so-lovely raspberries! It's so messy, but so adorable!

We finally got both her and Aiden's Halloween costumes, and I cannot wait to get them all dressed up. We chose a little flower costume from Children's Place for Allie, and Aiden wanted to be a vampire this year. I just hope it's not too cold! Our October this year has been awful! The past few days have actually been beautiful, but the first couple of weeks were nothing but rain, super cold air, and gray, cruddy days!

I'm so not ready for Winter to be here! We're already trying not to take Allie out too much which the H1N1 crap floating around. The schools in our little town haven't closed yet, but a lot in the surrounding areas have. They haven't confirmed any cases of H1N1, but a lot of kids were getting sick, and they don't want to take any chances. One of the elementary schools here were sending out permission slips to get the vaccine there at school for their kids. The women I've spoken with aren't getting their children the vaccine. We have yet to receive such a letter from Aiden's school, but no matter. We won't be getting it.

I understand that we're more susceptible to being laid up for a bit, since we really don't have much of an immunity towards the virus, but you know...I really give our bodies more credit than others want to. We're amazing creature with amazing immune systems. I fully intend on handling things the way nature intended. I know it's scary, but I also don't think that it's something our bodies can't handle.

Ok enough about that! I'm soooo tired of hearing "H1N1" coming out of people's mouths no matter where I go! You would think the plague was going around, LOL

Anywho, we're all doing fantastic! That was my main point to this post, lol. I need to head to bed though! Allie fell asleep about 2hrs ago, and should sleep until about 5am. I'm beat, and I've gotta work in the morning, so I need to go get some rest!

10 week pic

2009-10-10T19:16:00.001-07:00

Miss Allie and I!

Big brother Aiden took this pic! He loves my camera and is obsessed with going out with me when I take photos!

We started Allie on probiotics today, and I'm hoping to see an improvement with her tummy issues! Stuff is expensive though! It was $22 at the health food store (which I am now in love with btw!!), but if it helps, it'll be worth it!

2.5 months!

2009-10-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

Allie had her 2 month appointment, and boy is she growing!!

Our "little" princess is now 13lb and 23". The pediatrician said my milk is definitely doing her good, lol!

She's doing great and is right on track where she should be with everything! She finally mastered rolling over a couple of days ago. Well...I shouldn't say mastered, because there are still quite a few times that she gets stuck on her side. It's so cute, lol!

The Dr. we saw this time around was pretty good about the whole delayed vaccine thing. She wasn't thrilled about it, but she let me know that she would support us and try to be as accommodating as possible. I thanked her for that, and told her that if, for whatever reason, we change our minds, we will let her know.

She's sleeping better at night now, too. She typically goes to bed around 9:30-10:00 and then wakes up about 5:00 to eat. Goes back to sleep around 6:00-6:30, get up around 8:00 to eat again, and then takes a long morning nap until around 11:30. After that, she's pretty much up the rest of the day. She'll take a couple short naps in the late afternoon, but that's about it.

She's laughing, and "talking", and smiling at us all of the time. I absolutely love it! She makes THEE most adorable noises I have ever heard in my entire life. LOL...seriously, when she does it, I just want to squeeze the crap out of her! She's also found her hands which is hilarious. She will lift them in front of her face, and her eyes get all big. Then, you can tell she's trying with everything to get them to her mouth. I'd imagine it's sort of like when a part of your body is numb (think your legs after an epidural), and you can't really feel the control you have, but you know it's there, so you're trying your damndest anyhow. That's what it looks like anyway, lol

So all is well over here! I don't have any 10wk pictures at the moment, but will have some 11wk ones up next week!

Fall is here!!

2009-09-28T18:52:00.000-07:00

My favorite time of year! I absolutely love it! Everything is just so beautiful and the weather is perfect. Well, most of the time anyway! It's been a bit colder than I usually like, and little more wet than our typical Fall, but it'll pass - at least I hope!

We went to the orchards this past weekend and had a blast! It was my first time ever going, and I loved it! Aiden had so much fun, and Allie slept most of the time. We got a ton of apples! I also got a lot of great pictures! After we left the orchards, we went up to the market to pay for the apples and check things out. I was little bummed they didn't have any cider ready, but they told us it would be ready in about a week! It's only about 5 minutes away too, so that's a huge plus!

Aiden is getting super excited about Halloween, and will not stop talking about how he can't wait to get his costume. He's decided he's going to be a transformer this year. I swear that boy watched that movie every night, before bed, for about a month straight. He had most of it memorized! lol
As for Allie...I'm not sure. I figure we'll probably do one of those bunting costumes. It just seems easiest for one that little, and a lot warmer than most of these other costumes. Halloween in Michigan can get pretty chilly and nasty, so I figure it'll work best. She'll probably be sleeping the entire time anyway though!

Chev's birthday is on Thursday, so I need to go shop around online and figure out what in the world I'm going to get him!

Relief!

2009-09-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

After a lot of reading, a lot of questioning back and forth, and a lengthy discussion with Chev, we have reached a decision which we feel is best for our family.

While a part of me would be just as happy not getting her vaxed at all, I don't feel that it's necessarily for us. So, we've decided to delay her vaccines until she's older. We will then get her titers to see if she has built up any immunities on her own. Once those results come back, we will pick and choose which vaccines she will receive and how we want them spaced out.

I'm listening to my gut on this one. I've never been wrong before, and I don't want to go against it now - especially when it has something to do with my children. A girl on my birth board posted about her decision to delay after her friends baby died within hours of receiving her vaccines a few days ago. These little things keep popping up and grabbing my attention, and I think there's a reason for that. Not that I necessarily feel like Allie will die if I get her vaxed right now, but there's something telling me that something would go wrong if I do.

The next step is actually getting the pediatrician to be on board with us. If not, oh well. We find a new one! I already know of a guy that does it. He doesn't "recommend" it, but he fully supports a parents decision to do what they want for THEIR child. Friends of our don't vax or medicate AT ALL, and he's on board with their plan. I say if he can do theirs, he'll be more than happy to work with us!

You can't imagine the weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders. For a while, I was thinking I was just being paranoid. I would look at myself, Chev, and the hundreds of kids I run into every day, and think how they are absolutely fine. I would then try talking myself into atleast getting her the DTaP vax. That didn't last long. Slowly but surely, that horrible feeling would start creeping back in. That's when I knew we had to decide something! Once we came to an agreement about delaying until she's older, that horrible feeling went away and I'm much more confident about how we're going to do things.

Who knows...maybe these feelings are Cameron watching out for his little sister, and making sure nothing bad ever happens to her. :)

Lots of questions...

2009-09-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

Things are going well over over here, and little Allie is getting so big! I'd imagine he's probably pushing 12lbs right now, but we'll have to wait and see at her appointment on Oct. 1.

Her reflux is pretty much under control now - no more projectile vomiting, and her episodes are becoming less frequent. As much as I didn't want to give her the Zantac, it was really the only choice we had. You sometimes just have to do what you have to do, you know? I couldn't stand to see her screaming like that. The Mylanta and gripe water helped some, but nothing soothes her like the Zantac. I'm just trying to make the best decisions for my little girl. It's hard sometimes, and at times, it might not be what I like, but it's what's best for her.

Speaking of all of this, I'm having a real hard time deciding what to do about vaccinating. I thought I wanted to do a delayed schedule, but stupid me got online and started researching all of the vaccines. The thought of them injecting my daughter with formaldehyde and animal cells about makes me sick. We had planned on only getting her DTaP at her 2 month appointment, and that's one of the ones with formaldehyde, animal cells, AND aluminum in it.

I don't believe that vaccines cause autism, but that a good number of people are chemically/developmentally predisposed to being succeptable to adverse body-changes, resulting from the way their body/brain chemistry reacts to vaccines. Then it can all be downhill from there - developmentally and brain/neurological functioning-wise. It can be a bit of a chain reaction in my mind.
You should see some of the brain scans of the toxicity that occurs within the brain after aluminum, mercury, thmerosol, and live-vaccines are introduced. Not cool; and rather scary.

The way I see it, if a person's big "boom" of brain development occurs between ages 1 and 3, why in the world would you introduce toxins during those years; and if a baby is healthy enough to have their immune system defend itself against the vaccine, then it's healthy enough for the baby to go out and "get dirty" and develop immunities naturally, at least for the first 1-5 years or so..

So not it's just a question of: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!

Aiden had all of his vaccines according to the recommended schedule. I regret it, but thankfully he's just fine. I didn't know I had a choice back then, and I'm upset that the pediatricians don't offer alternative options to parents, only because THEY believe that getting them at the recommended time is the "right" thing to do. Whatev.

There's just something telling me not to do it. I don't know if it's paranoia or if it's an instinct that I should listen to. Part of me feels like it's paranoia, because of us losing Cameron. I now know that I'm no longer invisible, nor are my children. Is a reaction to vaccines rare? Yes. But so is what happened to Cameron. I was that 1-2% before, and I don't want to be it again - especially if I have a choice. I just look at her, and I think about what could happen, and how I'd never forgive myself. I know of 3 children who suffered from seizures after being vaccinated, but I don't know of one child who has gotten ill/died from any of the diseases they vax against.

I don't know what in the world I'm going to do. I don't have much time to think about it either! Chev is on board with delaying completely until she's older, but he doesn't give much insight about it. It would just help if I got some more POV's on this....

Anyway...

Here's our little princess at 2 months!

What a way to spend your 1 month!

2009-09-01T13:28:00.001-07:00

Little Miss Allie is now 1 month old!! I can't believe how big she's gotten and how fast time is flying by!

She had quite the eventful 1 month!

On Friday, I decided to call the nurse at her peds office to ask about her choking/breathing issues. After explaining everything to the nurse, she thought it best that Allie be seen that night to be evaluated. That made me a little nervous, as I was under the assumption that all babies had that breathing issue from time to time - you know, where you have to blow in their faces to get them to take a breath. At least I remember all babies, that I've ever been around, doing it.

So we take her in, they examine her, and decide that she needs to go to the hospital to be evaluated over night. Deep down I knew she was just fine, and that everything was going to be OK, but it made me nervous! We went back home to pack our things and then headed up to the hospital.

We were staying in the pediatric unit, and man was that scary! It was just weird to be in that little isolated room with a crib that looked like a cage. The nurses were amazing, and it really wasn't that bad, but it was still really weird. I've only ever seen that stuff on TV. Then to see the other kids, walking the halls with their IV's in tow - it just made me thankful that we were only there as a precaution and for observation.

They had her hooked up to an apnea monitor and everything went great! It never went off the entire time we were there! So, we learned that she's not actually stopping breathing, she's just holding her breath. Well, actually, I knew that and told the Dr. that from the get-go, but she wouldn't listen. Oh well, it's better to be safe than sorry, right? I had no issue with her being there or having any of this done.

They wanted to do an upper GI on her, but that required her going without food for 6hrs and without her gas drops or Zantac for her reflux. I wasn't going to let my baby be hungry, with gas, and pain from her reflux on topin of that. She's only a month old for crying out loud!
The Dr. was fine with my decision to forgo the upper GI, but then wanted to write her an Rx for Reglan.

Now, all she said to me was, "There can be a small side effect. It just causes the muscles to stiffen a bit." Excuse me? Anything that is going to make my baby girl's "muscles stiffen" does NOT need to be in her little body! Thankfully I had my laptop there and was able to get online and do my own research on Reglan. Quite frankly, I'm appauled that they are even allowed to prescribed that shit to anyone - let alone BABIES!!! I was furious!

*Go ahead and google it or search what the women on BBC say* - I assure you you'll be just as upset as I was!

So, needless to say we didnt' get that Rx filled! It was torn up and thrown in the trash. It just proves my theory that you CANNOT trust Dr's 100%. I never have and I never will. She's my child, and they can recommend all they want, but when it comes down to it, I decided what her care will be and what medicines she will or will not be on.

Her follow up appointment went great, and even the Dr. we saw today said there was no reason for her to be on Reglan at all. She said she has prescribed it to children, but only as a last ditch effort when nothing else can control their spitting up/reflux to the point to where they aren't thriving. She said she has had a lot of kids have reactions to it.

So for now, we're doing things the way I'm comfortable with here at home. She will get her Zantac (I'm working on getting the non-alcohol brand), a bit of Mylanta when she has flair ups, and the occasional chamomile tea or gripe water. She seems to be doing great on that regimen! She's a much happier baby and doesn't seem to be in so much pain anymore! Thank God!

Today, at 5 weeks old, my little chunky monkey weighs 10lbs 10oz and is almost 23"!! She's definitely growing, and her reflux is obviously not affecting her ability to thrive! Basically, my breast milk is the shit! :)

Here's our beautiful little girl at 5 weeks!

Oh and I also bought the angelcare delux monitor for my own peace of mind at home. It was very comforting to have her hooked up to that monitor at the hospital. I slept so much better knowing that if anything happened, I would be woken up!
We had the monitor on last night and I LOVE it!!! Although, I forgot to shut it off when I took her out of her bassinet to feed her. I went downstairs and about 5 seconds later, heard this really loud alarm going off. Oops! At least I know it works though :)

My poor baby :(

2009-08-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

Allie will be a month old this week! I cannot believe it! It honestly feels like she was just born a few days ago! Before I know it, she's going to be 6 months! Ahhh!!

The mystery of her tummy troubles is deepening. At first I thought gas, but after trying ever trick in the book and her not getting that much better, I started wondering about my diet. So, for the past week I have tried my hardest to call ALL dairy and dairy ingredients out of my diet. She seems to be a little more comfortable since I did that, but she's still in some sort of pain.

Tonight it hit me. Acid reflux. UGH!

Aiden had it, but he had it worse. He was projectile vomiting green stuff allll of the time. Allie does spit up quite a bit, but it's only been projectile a hand full of times. On top of spitting up, she whimpers randomly while eating, wiggles and arches her back before bursting out in random cries during and (mostly) after eating. I noticed tonight too, that by the end of the feeding she is clenching her fists.
Now, at first, I thought it was the cutest thing. She'd clench them and then bring them up to her chin or hold them down by her side. It was cute until I found out it can be a sign of reflux.

My poor little girl is in pain!! :(

I hate that it took me 4wks to think of this! That just means that the poor darling has been in pain after eating for 3 weeks!

I'm setting up a Dr. appointment tomorrow to have her looked at. I'm hoping they don't do an upper GI on her! Aiden had that done and the barium drink made him SO constipated. I remember him pooping out a white brick-like substance, and his little bottom was bleeding from straining so hard. I don't want to put her through that, but I'm not sure if there is any other way for them to test for reflux. It's not fool proof, I do know that! Because, they could just not be refluxing at the time. That's what happened with Aiden. They did the test, but it showed no reflux.
However, the ped was confident enough that he had it to order in a prescription of Zantac. Man, was that stuff awful! Blech! But it worked, and if I have to do it for Allie too, I will.

I just want her to feel better!! It kills me to think that she's so uncomfortable!

Getting out!

2009-08-13T06:44:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was tough, but today seems to be a little better. Probably because I actually let myself cry yesterday. I've been so stressed with Chev gone, Allie's tummy issues, trying to keep this house in order, and trying to control an unruly 4.5yr old, I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

I don't necessarily believe I'm developing ppd - I think it's just the normal baby blues that most women get after giving birth. I mean, our hormones were out of whack to begin with, and now they're just trying to straighten themselves out again. It's slightly expected. I will keep an eye on it though, and won't hesitate to call my Dr. if I think there's a serious problem!

It's not really that I even feel depressed, just alone. It's weird.

My gf came over yesterday and that helped. Just to have that adult interaction helped tons! My mom is coming over today to sit with the kids for a few so Heather and I can go to lunch. I'm very much looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm nervous. Allie never leaves my side, and I'm going to be leaving for about 2hrs! I trust my mom 110% with her, no questions asked, but it's still hard.

I'm going to feed her before we leave, so hopefully that will hold her over until I get back. If not, my mom is going to try introducing a bottle to her today. I figure it might work better for her to do it, because I've read that babies are more apt to take a bottle from someone other than their mother. Hopefully it goes well, because I think that would be a huge weigh lifted off of my shoulders!

And for Beth - Allie eats about every 2hrs, but it's only about 10-15 minutes on one side. Then I switch to the other the next time she eats. It's not bad at all. She isn't attached to my boob 24/7, but it's just that when I'm not cleaning or something, she's on there.

So basically, I feel like that's all I do every day. It's the routine that I hate!! I've never been a fan of routine, and it really gets me down when it's happening day after day. I know it will get better as she gets a little older, and we're able to take her more places.

PS -Beth had asked that question in her comment to my last post. LOL...that's where that came from

The baby blues....

2009-08-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, for starters, we had Allie's 2wk checkup yesterday (her due date!) and she's healthy as a horse! She weighed 8lbs 10oz, which is great! At two weeks they want them to at least be at their birth weight - she was 1lb over! She also grew an inch and is now 20".

She seems to be having some gas/pooping issues. I'm not sure which it is. She's still pooping about 2-3 times a day, but it seems like it's harder for her to get out. It comes out thicker at first and then the second bout is really watery. I know, gross, but that's how it is. Today, I got poop shot at me for the very first time. lol
The ped. recommended that I maybe cut out dairy from my diet and see how that works for her, so we're trying that. Hopefully it will work, because I miss my smiley, happy baby girl! She's still super good and happy for the most part, but there's a good majority of the day where she just seems absolutely miserable. It's stressing me out because I don't know what to do for her :(

Oh top of that, I've been feeling a little down. I know it's completely normal, but it sucks. Chev is gone from about 7am - 12:15am almost every day, so I'm basically doing this all alone. And with me breastfeeding, I feel like a prisoner. I've either got her or a pump on my boob and I feel like I can't do anything. I'm stuck in this house every day, almost all day long. It's just so hard.

It's very hard adjusting to having a newborn again. If Aiden were younger it wouldn't be bad, as I would already be used to it. But when you're basically starting all over, it's tough.

I'm happy for the most part, but I just feel like there's this dark cloud just waiting to come loom over me. I don't know what to do about it. Is this something that I just work through, and it will go away on it's own, or is it going to get worse?

Newborn smiles

2009-08-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Little Allie is now 9 days old! She's still doing wonderful, and I still couldn't have asked for a happier baby!

It's so sweet! I know newborns don't REALLY smile, and it's when they're sleeping most of the time, but there have been two times where she was wide awake, and just go the biggest, open-mouthed smile on her face. She was laying there on my lap, looking at the wall behind me and just did it. I can't even explain how absolutely adorable it was!!! Someone said yesterday (out of nowhere mind you), "Isn't it said that when newborns smile, they see an angel?". Obviously that hit me in a way that it wouldn't hit your "normal" new mom. I instantly thought of Cameron and Allie's smiles the day before. Honestly, that was the first thing that went through my head when I saw her smile that day. I instantly wondered if babies can see things that we can't, and if Cameron's presence had touched her at some point. I'll never know for sure, but I can be happy in thinking that that's what happened. :)

She's still only waking about twice a night to eat, and really only cries when she's hungry. She's just an absolute darling!! It's still hard with Chev being gone all of the time. He's got a lot of concrete jobs coming in, so he leaves around 7am, does concrete until it's time for his other job, heads off to there, and then doesn't get home until 12:15 at night. Of course all of these concrete jobs had to start coming in only days after having Allie. He had gone the entire Summer with a job here and there, but then gets slammed with them the worst time possible.

Well, I need to get some laundry and stuff done while Allie is sleeping. Just thought I would jump on and give everyone a small update.

I'll leave you with a few 1 week picture!

Allie's 1st appointment

2009-08-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

We had Allie's first Dr. appointment on Friday.

Everything looks great! She weighed 7lbs 8oz, so I have no doubt that she will pass her birth weight in a week! She was 7lb 10oz at birth, and I'm not sure what she was when we left. They never told me!!

She's a petite little thing! When she was born, we all (including the nurses) guessed 6-something. I was floored when they said 7lb 10oz!!! I don't know where she puts it!

Barely any of her newborn stuff fits her! She's been able to wear a couple of outfits, but for the most part, she stays in her little gowns. They're comfortable and making diaper changing easy, so I can't complain. I just hate how they bunch up all of the time, lol.

Her sleeping is great and she's still doing awesome with breastfeeding! I've even been able to start pumping to get some saved up for when I got back to work and/or school!
She wakes up twice a night. Typically around 2:00-3:00, eats, is awake for about an hour, and then doesn't get up again until 6:00-7:00. I can't complain at all!!

With Aiden, he was up about every 2hrs! Breastfeeding didn't go all that well with him, so I was a little nervous this time around.

...Sounds like she's waking up! She passed out around 7:15, and it's going on 11:00 now. You can imagine what my boobs feel like, seeing as how I'm used to her eating every 2-3hrs. LOL..yup! she's up! I can hear her in there sucking on her fists, lol

Where did this week go!?

2009-08-03T04:43:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Allie will be a week old tomorrow! It seems like we just brought her home yesterday! I don't like this!! lol

We've been having such a great time with her here at home! She's such a great baby and such a joy to be around. I just stare at her and smile and get the most amazing sense of happiness that runs through me. I look at her and I wonder if she has any features that Cameron would have had. The chubby cheeks were a give-in. LOL...we just make chubby-cheeked babies, and that's how it is.

Her lips kind of remind me of his. I kiss them all of the time.

I just can't explain what it feels like to have her here, and know that she's our blessing from our little angel. I don't even know how to begin thanking him for her. With his passing, her life was made possible. How do you really "thank" someone for that?

I don't think I really have to say much. He sees inside my heart and he knows the amount of love I have for all 3 of my children. And what my words can't express, he sees inside of me. He knows. He just does.

She's here!!

2009-07-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Allie McKenna made her grand debut on July 28th, 2009 at 5:38pm! She weighed a healthy 7lbs 10oz, and was 19in long. She has a decent amount of dark brown hair, and looks just like her daddy and big brothers with her chubby little cheeks! I really can't believe she weighed as much as she did! When she was born, everyone in the room was guessing 6-something! We were seriously surprised to see 7 10 pop up on that scale! She doesn't even fit in preemie clothes! Her going home outfit was a preemie, and it's too big on her! She's definitely a petit little thing!

On to the details...

I had been saying since Spring time that I had a feeling about the 28th. My mom asked me one time, "Do you have any date that pops out to you?", and I replied, "July 28th. I don't know why, but for some reason, that date just sticks out in my head!". You can imagine how floored I was when I realized I was in labor on July 28th!

It wasn't too bad for the most part. I did end up getting an epidural when I was around 7cm. I was having bad nerve pain that ran across my bad and down 1/4 of both of my thighs. It literally felt like someone was taking a pair of scissors to every single nerve in that area.

Just like with Aiden, the epi worked for the contractions, but I could still feel everything when It came time to push. I like that in a way, because I know when I needed to and I could feel how effectivly I was pushing. On the other hand, the pressure and the pain are indescribable! WOW...that's all I have to say. I can't believe I wanted to do that more than once, lol

I pushed for about 40min all together - with active pushing being about 15min. As soon as she came out, they opened my gown and put her on my chest. They left her there for about 5min. w/out cutting the cord, and another 20min before bathing or weighing her. It was an amazing time for both of us! No one else in the room exsisted in that moment to me. It was crazy to see her do what she did for just being born! Within 5min of being on my chest, she was rooting around, looking for my breast! She found it all on her own and started feeding right away!

She's a great baby! Typically newborn crying, but all in all, a good baby! I can't complain!

I'm still trying to get this whole "feeding on a schedule" down. We're getting there, but it's hard not to let her on my boob when she's crying and nothing else seems to soothe her. I don't mind it, but it messes with the whole "timed feeding" thing, and the chart that we got from the hospital to fill out. We'll get it!

Some pics for you!

Anytime now Miss Allie :)

2009-07-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

Am I allowed to be impatient now?! LOL

20 days!!! Aiden came 18 days before his due date, so I think that's why I'm getting really anxious! I'm trying not to be, because I know there's a chance I could go past my due date (Lord help me if I do!), but I can't help it!

I've been getting this feeling that it's going to be soon, but it's not knowing exactly when that is driving me nuts. I love the suspense and surprise of it, and I know that once I have her, I'm going to miss being pregnant (especially since she is our last), but man! I know I probably sound like a crazy woman right now, but I also know there are millions of other women out there right now that completely understand what I'm saying!

I've been walking more, and doing more stuff around the house. It's nice because we have a 2-story, so I look for any excuse to walk up and down the stairs. That and sex is pretty much all I've got, lol. The sex part hasn't been happening too much since I'm so tired by time Chev gets home, but I need to suck it up! lol

If anyone else has any other suggestions, feel free to suggest away ;). I know she'll come when she's ready, but there's nothing wrong with letting her know that she can come anytime now!

Picture update

2009-07-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

First, I just realized I haven't posted a belly pic since like 25wks! So, here's one of me, just shy of 37wks.

And here are some pics of Allie's room - finally finished! Her closet was a mess! It was lime green, the ceiling was falling in, and there was nowhere to hang clothes! This has been our big project for the last two weeks, and I'm so glad it's finally done!

This one I took, and then realized I have to finish the ceiling, LOL. DUH!

This is the other side of her room!

Here's the other side. The bassinet will be going in our room.

36-37wks

2009-07-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing new to report really. We've have a couple false alarms, but nothing too serious to where I thought I needed to go to the hospital.

I've had two episodes of contractions - coming around ever 4-5min, and lasting an average of 1min 10sec. Both times, this went on for about 4hrs! It's so frustrating to have that happen and then just have them disappear!

Had my appointment today, and nothing new. I'm negative for group B, which is great! Still measuring right on, and little Allie is still head down! She's been that way since 28wks, and I hope she continues to stay put! My OB said he would check me next week, which made me happy. I was sort of hoping he'd do it today, but no such luck!

We ended up changing Allie's name. Instead of Brielle for a middle name, we've chosen McKenna. I LOVE Brielle, don't get me wrong, but she needed a little something more since her first name is so short. Not to mention we have a 1-syllable last name, so that didn't make it any better. I think Brielle is beautiful, but I think McKenna flows better with Allie. Plus, when written, there were just too many "I"'s and "E"'s and "L"'s. It bugged me.

She'll laugh one day when she opens her baby book to see Allie, with Brielle crossed out. That, or when she sees her baby shower invites with "Allie Brielle" on there. :P

Ah well, it happens!

35-36wks

2009-07-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

Had another weekly appointment today, which included the oh-so-fun groub B testing! I suppose I can't complain though - it's quick, easy, and painless!

I didn't get to see my OB, AGAIN! Apparently they overbooked him, AGAIN. I just don't understand how they keep doing that, and how I keep getting screwed out of seeing him. I make my appointments WELL in advance, so there's not reason that I should be one of the ones who is forced to see another OB. I'm not terribly upset by it, since I know all of the Dr's there. The one I saw today was actually the same Dr. who delivered Aiden. Real nice guy!

He said by the looks of things, and the fact that Aiden was 3wks early, that he's willing to bet I've got about 2wks to go. It was nice to hear, but I'm not putting too much stock into it. Because the minute I do, my little butt will end up going past my due date! lol

Other than that, everything seems to be fine. She's still head down and I'm still measuring right on! I do have to have my blood drawn again to check up on the anemia, but that's no biggie! I figure I'll just pop in there tomorrow and have them do it! Hopefully it's gone up since I've been taking my iron pills. I don't remember to take them every day, but I do get a few down a week :)

We're gettin' there!

34-35 weeks

2009-07-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

Had my 34wk appointment. Nothing too exciting, as expected, but that's OK! I enjoy going!

Allie is still head down (has been since about 28wks), and the midwife who felt her said she didn't feel like a big baby at all, so there was no reason for me to be concerned.

I haven't gained any weight in a month, but I figure that's OK because of all of that weigh I supposedly gained that one month. They didn't say anything, so again I'm not concerned! I just think it will be funny if I end up weighing the same with her as I did when I delivered Aiden! I'm about 5lbs away from that, so it should be really close!

We pretty much have her nursery finished. Well, all but the closet! Still waiting for Chev to get that sanded and then I can paint and put up the necessary mounts to hang her stuff! I just wish he'd get going on it! It seems like if it doesn't have anything to do with MMA fighting or the gym, he's not too interested in getting it done. Men!

I'm getting super uncomfortable too. I'm getting that "bowling ball between the legs" feeling, and it's not fun! I'm reentering that tired stage again too! I'm just ready! I want to meet my little girl already!

Here's a pic of the one side of her room with the bed all put together

Some of Allie's room

2009-06-10T15:53:00.001-07:00

We're all done with the painting, thank God!! Well, in her room anyway...the rest of the house is another story!

Anywho, here are a couple of pics of the new decal we just put up! The room is pink, except for the back wall when you first walk in. That's the wall we accented in chocolate brown! We've still got to finish getting her crib together, get the bedding on, put some shelves up and organize little things. We've still got some time! :)

Just sharing

2009-06-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

My friends boyfriend got this for us today! I was stoked! For those that don't know us, we're huge Boston fans!!! I was so excited when I saw this! I always hate getting gifts and opening them right infront of people, because (and as crappy as this may sound) I'm afraid of not liking the gift, and then trying to fake that I do. This was one of those times where I was a little nervous, especially since it was coming from a guy. BUT, when he handed it to me, my face just lit up! Seriously one of the most well thought out gifts we've gotten!

The going ons

2009-06-05T10:27:00.001-07:00

Last night Aiden got to really feel Allie kick for the first time! It was so sweet! He was super excited about it when he put his hand on my belly, and squealed when she kicked him, lol.
Every other time he has tried to feel her, she either stops moving around or she's sleeping!

She's definitely a mover, but more so during the evening. I'll feel her every now and then during the day, but she gets really active around 4:00'ish, settles down around 5:00, and is then back in full swing from about 10:00-11:30.

I just finished up with painting the nursery, but we still have so much to do. It's getting Chev to actually do the things that's the problem. I know he's super busy with work and everything, but we don't have a single thing put together! I just want to get her nursery completely finished! I'll post pictures of our progress - if any ever develops, lol

Baby Shower

2009-06-01T16:16:00.000-07:00

We had the baby shower yesterday at my parents' cafe! It went great and I had a really good time! It was on the smaller side ( I think maybe 18 people), and I liked it that way. It was more personal, and I could be myself.

At Aiden's shower there were 50-60 people there, and I only knew about 3/4 of them. It was so uncomfortable for me to open a gift and go to thank someone, only to have no idea who the person was! Talk about sweating in your seat!

We got a lot of really nice things too! There's still a few things that we need before she gets here, but we're taking care of all of that this week! I'll have pictures up as soon as I get them on my computer! :)

It's happened....

2009-05-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

I found my very first stretch mark this morning! Truth be told, I about died when I did - maybe even slightly freaked out. BUT, you know, OH WELL!! Whether this be the only one I get, or if I end up covered, it will be worth it. Now, don't get me wrong, I would definitely prefer to only have this one, but we'll see!

It's so very tiny and it's right above my belly button piercing. I don't know if the piercing had anything to do with it, and I'm sure I'm the only one who even sees it, but I know it's there, lol. That one spot had been itching me for about 3wks now, but I didn't think anything of it! It crossed my mind, but I didn't go out of my way to pay special attention to that one little spot.

I never got any with Aiden, except a few on my boobs, and I'm light skinned, so you can barely see them. Maybe that will work in my favor this time too, if I end up getting more! My body is just reacting so differently to this pregnancy than it did with the boys, so I'm still getting used to some things. Honestly, I was as big as I am now when I delivered Aiden! Granted, I was small for delivering a 37 weeker, but still...to know that...well, it's a little depressing, lol.

Still trying to enjoy it though! So, yay for my bigger belly and yay for my very first stretch mark!!! :)

Time flies....kind of

2009-05-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

I am by NO means a complainer, and I always said that I would never complain about being pregnant. But...lol...BUT, I am ready to be done, lol

I know, it's sad. I still have 11wks to go, and this has FLOWN by, but now it feels like it's draggin along. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when I have less time that that left! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant, and I'm so incredibly grateful for Allie and the fact that she's doing great! But, I can't wait to fit into my old clothes again, to be able to actually put my hands on my waist, to play softball with everyone, and to go out with the girls and have dinner and a few drinks!

We went to my in laws for a cookout yesterday, and while everyone was enjoying themselves with a beer in hand and playing softball, I sat in a chair...watching. I did this for 5hrs. LOL

I am enjoying this last bit as much as I can, because I know Allie is our last, but at the same time I'm just ready to have her here and get back into the groove of things!

...and on that note - I can't believe May is almost over already!!!!

Forgot to mention

2009-05-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how I forgot to mention this, as it's been irritating me since my appointment on Tuesday.

So, my regular OB was overbooked and had two others there on-call for him. I was lucky enough to see my favorite midwife, who was also the one I had seen while pregnant with Cameron . Well, she comes in, gives me a great big hug, and goes on and on about how happy she is for me. I love this woman! She's great!

THEN, she looks at my chart and says something that I have never heard at any point in time during any of my pregnancies. She said, "Hmm...looks like you're growing little Allie very nicely in there!". I just laughed, and she then said, "You know, just sort of watch your weight. Watch what you're eating. Make sure to drink plenty of water and you're eating lots of fruits and veggies!". I was stunned! I looked at her and said, "I do...I don't know what's going on here." She then comes over and measures my belly, which was measuring right where it should be, and says, "Well you don't look all that big, but your belly is meausring pretty good size.". I was measuring about 29wks....1wk ahead! It just didn't add up to me. So I asked her if Allie was going to be a big baby, and she then asked about Aiden, who was 7lb 5oz at birth. But, he was also 3wks early. So, if you figure the baby gains about 1oz a day in the last weeks, he probably would have been about 8.5lbs. She said she guestimates Allie will be about the same. CRAP! I had a hard enough time with a 7lb baby, I can't imagine giving birth to one that's over 8lbs!! Hopefully, she'll decide to make her debut a tad early like her big brother did. :)

I asked her where all of this came from, and apparently, I have gained 11lbs in one month. Now pardon my french, but what the f*ck ever! There is no possible way! I had gotten on my scale that morning, and according to that, I had only gained about 4lbs. Make more sense seeing as how my clothes still fit me the same and my belly is measuring where it should be. If I had gained that much weight in that short of time, I would think my belly would be measuring 2 or more weeks ahead!

I watch what I eat for the most part, splurging from time to time, and I'm constantly on the go! I'm healthy damn it! I'm supposed to gain weight! I just don't get Dr's anymore! You either aren't gaining enough or you're gaining too much! Ugh, you just can't win with them!

All I know is that I feel good, Allie is doing great, and that's really all that matters to me!

28wks

2009-05-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Just had my 28wk appointment yesterday, and it was my last 4wk appointment. It's every 2wks from here on out! I can't believe how fast this is going! I just want her here...safe and sound in my arms!

It was just a typical, regular check-up, and everything looked good. My iron is still low - lower than it was in the beginning - but still on the "low end of normal", as she said. So, I'll be popping some iron pills for that...no biggie!

That last pictures I got of Allie were at 23wks, and even though that was 5wks ago, I'll still share!! :)

At first glance, it looks as if she's sucking her thumb, while holding it in her mouth with her other hand. But I remember the tech. saying that she was sucking on her arm! LOL...silly girl!

We kept trying to catch her smiling, but everytime the tech. would take the picture, it was just a second or two late. Oh well, still adorable!

Oh, and here's me at 25wks.

I don't remember the exact weight they gave, but it was 1lb and some odd ounces at that point! I'm curious as to how big she is now and what she looks like! I could already tell at 23wks that she had the same chubby cheeks that her brothers had! They get it from their daddy...although his really aren't all that chubby anymore. Oh well, it's cuter on babies anyhow ;)

**Thanks Beth! Such a simple fix :) **